Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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