And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
