With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
