There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
