Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
