when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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