They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
