nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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