first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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