I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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