I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
