My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You are a genius and a whore.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
