So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
