i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
