we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
