This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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