question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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