If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
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