Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize