Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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