I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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