Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
