So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
