so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
