Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
