I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
