I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
