If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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