dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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