ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
