I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
