YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
