I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
