I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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