Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize