guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
