I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
