our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
