Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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