Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
