I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
