Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
