Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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