I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
