i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.