Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.