He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize