Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
