Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
