im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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