dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
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That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
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First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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