i would punch a child for taco bell
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Pooping to opera.
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