yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
