The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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