Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
