How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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