You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
