AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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