Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
