I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
